Project Back on Track: Day 45 Check-In
Friends, we need to talk. The last 14 days flew by. As much as I feel like that is always the case, this time these two weeks really got away from me.
I think this partly due to the fact that I was coming out of a 12 day vacation and for whatever reason, that vacation mode feeling lingered long after I went back to work. Maybe wishful thinking - if I stay in this relaxed mood I won’t actually have to go back to reality. Guess what, it didn’t work.
In fact, it totally backfired. The 15 days of this project did not go as well as I would have hoped. I felt completely defeated and disappointed by this realization. My yoga practice slipped. I did less paleo days (because I drank more alcohol). I still have not branched out of my comfort zone to try a new fitness class or different gym (I had the goal of doing this once per month during this project).
Basically, I got to the half-way point and felt like I had accomplished absolutely nothing. It’s my old black-or-white fatalist attitude rearing its ugly head again. I sat on this for a few days and delayed writing this check-in because I felt guilty and ashamed.
So, I took a step back from it. Removed myself from the situation so I could look at it as an outsider, so to speak, instead of someone in the thick of it. I continued journaling Day 46 and beyond as normal but removed all expectation surrounding Day 31-45 while I took a moment to get my mind right.
Here’s what I discovered. I didn’t actually fail (duh). I didn’t meet every goal (but who cares). This is Project Back on Track not Project Immediate Results. There is a reason I set myself up for a 90 day long experiment and not just 15 days. There were always going to be highs and lows because I was recording my real life.
But I am me and old habits are challenging to break so I was unnecessarily hard on myself. This is the exact opposite of the point. So, I’m hitting that reset button. It’s my project and I made up the rules and I have no one to be accountable to beside myself. Therefore, I am the only one who can judge what is a failure. The only failure here is not trying at all.
I recognized that I was slipping on my healthy habits and got sad about it. And that’s ok. I recognized the problem and had a reaction - perhaps not the reaction I wish I could have had but a reaction that wasn’t “who cares...keep on keeping on with your bad self.” And eventually I came to the conclusion that it was okay to take a little stumble.
Going forward, should I feel like I am slipping down the slope of cheesy nachos, cancelling all my spin classes, and watching TV in my PJs all day, I hope that I don’t get down on myself over it. I hope instead, I am able to immediately pick myself off, dust the dirt of my shoulder, and carry on.
Imagine if your setbacks where just setups for doing better next time. What would that look like? I’m not sure but I intend to find out in the next 15 days. Are you with me?
Rather than breaking down the numbers on the number of times I met each goal, as I normally do, because I love numbers, I’m just going to leave it here. Why? Because I don’t think that dwelling on the fact that the numbers aren’t “as good” as last time won’t serve me moving forward. I counted. I’m sharing my tracker so you can count, too, if you wish. But I just don’t feel like for this particular check-in, that the numbers are important. What’s important, is that I kept going, even when I didn’t feel like it.
And that’s a win in my book.
Tell me about your most recent wins in the comments below!